The Breads Roundup No. 56
The Power of Black Women, Free Online Returns and Fertility
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Hello Kids’ Choice Awards Nominees,
As the world continues to burn all around us I just wanted to let you all know that I very much appreciate your readership and the kind notes you send me from time to time.
The next time you hear from me I will be considerably older. Well, technically only a week older, but as the Gregorian calendar and Western conventions would have it, I’ll be a full year older. So while my body feels like it is 51 and my mind is somewhere around age 11 my entire being will split the difference at 31. Yes, next Monday I will turn 31 years old. The horror. The joy. The sheer indifference because 31 is not in any way an age milestone. To celebrate I’ll undergo 2 weeks of multiple health screens and ask everyone to quarantine in order to surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we will pretend things are normal just for a brief moment in time.
Just kidding. I’m not Kim. Instead I’ll probably just kick it at the crib and drink some beer. Perhaps wine. Maybe watch some movies. I started a media journal this year to keep track of everything, so keep an eye out for that as I’m sure it will surface in this newsletter at some point.
I know what you’re thinking “Eli, I want to get you a present something fierce. Where can I send it?” I do not want your material goods. Instead, if you like this newsletter and by association me, please forward this email to five friends you think would like my sweet baby Breads and ask them to subscribe. It will help me grow this email and if I can grow this email I can make it better down the road for you. And then when it’s a huge hit you can say you were a day one fan and I’ll send you personal emails if you ask so that you can show them to friends to impress them.
Ok that is all. I know why you’re here. The linkies! Enjoy.
On Stacey Abrams And The Persistent Problem Of Leaning Too Heavily On Black Women
Gimme Dat Synopsis Quickie:
This is a short piece in Vogue that everyone should take three minutes to read. Seriously that’s all it will take, so you really have no excuse. The title of the article pretty much sums it all up. This line from the piece, in addition to the one from the quote section below, really stuck with me: “The response to Abrams proved what so many of us [black women] experience in our personal lives: too often we’re tasked with solving problems we did not create.”
And A Quote From The Article Please:
A number of politicians and activists I follow on Twitter likened Abrams to “Captain America”; Mark Ruffalo called her a “real superhero.” This may seem like innocuous praise, but there’s a fine line between celebrating a Black woman’s efforts and burdening her with the responsibility to save us.
And Tell Me Why I should Care:
Should we all be in awe of what Stacey Abrams did? Yes one thousand million (what is that a billion?) percent. But the crux of these piece is that we really need to listen to heroic women like her with regards to how systems need to change so that we don't need them to pull miracles out of their asses on a consistent basis to stop us from devolving into madness. There are resources in the article from Abrams herself to check out on how to help and be a better ally. So do that.
Amazon, Walmart Tell Consumers To Skip Returns Of Unwanted Items
Gimme Dat Synopsis Quickie:
It's simple, devious math really. Often times with inexpensive (or super heavy) objects, it's more expensive for the big retailers to ship and restock an item than it would be to just offer a refund and let buyers keep the product. So that's exactly what they are doing nowadays.
And A Quote From The Article Please:
Jan Edmiston, a Presbyterian pastor from Charlotte, N.C., ordered the wrong version of a book titled “What Lies Between Us.” Instead of an antiracism book, she bought a thriller by the same name. Rather than asking her to send it back, Amazon issued a refund and told her to keep it. “How much money is Amazon making to be able to absorb these mistakes?” Ms. Edmiston asked. She has been using the errantly ordered book to prop up her laptop for Zoom calls. She plans to give it away.
And Tell Me Why I should Care:
Congratulations capitalism, you done played yourself. It's really only a matter of time before there are mass syndicates buying online products from the big retailers that they know they will get for free because it's cost prohibitive to process returns. Don't knock the hustle. But it's also, maybe, a bit of a red flag that these companies have so much money they don't have to worry about giving products away for free on a mass scale?
The Sperm Kings Have A Problem: Too Much Demand
Gimme Dat Synopsis Quickie:
Sperm banks have really struggled to meet demand since covid as a result of two factors:
1) Many people have been waiting for life to slow down to finally have a kid (increased demand for sperm).
2) Regular donors are less frequent due to all the health concerns associated with going to a place indoors with lots of other people (decreased supply).
On top of that it's really expensive even without the strain on sperm reserves. This article then details the rather robust underground and unregulated blackmarket for sperm that has popped up recently.
And A Quote From The Article Please:
The recommendation is to buy four or five vials per desired child, since it can easily take a few months of trying to get pregnant. And since donors sell out fast, if a woman wants two children with the same donor, she needs to be ready with about $10,000. “A lot of people have been waiting for their lives to slow down to start their family, and now that’s happened,” Mr. Allard said. “Some of them might be thinking it will be easier to raise a child while working from home. I can tell you, though, I have three kids, and it is not easier.”
And Tell Me Why I should Care:
Twenty-year-old me is kicking thirty-year-old me for not making way more beat-off jokes thus far, but I'm gonna keep it classy and refrain because this is really about families trying their best to have children and guys willing to help give that to them out of either a need for extra money or the desire to possibly have 30 offspring roaming the earth. There are now sperm influencers online. There are now Tinder-like apps for finding donors. There are now countless Facebook groups by region. The innovation economy is real as hell. This also falls into the category of a product you can just keep if you’re not satisfied and want to return it.
Big Industries Getting Their Sh*t F*cked Up
Why Big Olive Oil Erupted Over A Boutique Distributor’s Claims To A Fresher, Healthier Oil
The olive oil industry for the past decade has basically been like American politics from the past few months: everybody claiming everybody else is lying when it's pretty clear there is one side trying to cheat everybody else. Crude analogies aside (I really am sorry for that one) the olive oil industry is full of cheaters and liars and most damagingly, extreme ambiguity. This is about a small brand trying to produce and sell higher quality olive oil (for more money of course) and Big Olive Oil getting quite upset about it. Also the book they reference in this article, Extra Virginity, about fraud in the Olive Oil industry is really interesting and I would recommend it if you're into oils and such.Inside India's Digital Gold Rush
India is a huge consumer of gold. It's culturally super important over there and given that many families have gold in their possession, pawning has often been a means of quick infusions of cash. A traditionally very analog business is now very digital with a delivery startup now serving gold pawners across India.How More TikTok Stars Can Succeed In The Music Industry
Some great analysis on the complexities and clusterfuckery of the music industry as it relates and responds to a hugely disruptive, but beneficial, force in TikTok. Over 70 artists have been signed to major labels thanks to TikTok in the past year, that's more than 10%, and you have to imagine that number is only going to increase. If anyone wants to make a song for The Breads, holler at me.
Everything In This Section Has To Do With Japan
7-Eleven Wants Americans To Love It As Much As The Japanese Do
The players at sevs-elevs are making some major moves. I have never been but apparently the convenience stores over in The Land of the Rising Sun are extremely baller. They have great rapport with customers over there who view the store as a culinary experience, whereas here in America if you eat at 7-Eleven you just hope you don't somehow have crabs the next day. They're trying to step their game up here, the question is whether or not Americans will ever be able to see past the hot-dog eating man 7-Eleven used to be and see him as the culinary connoisseur man he is today? The slurpees do be tasty though.Death By Pokémon Go': Study Finds That Driving While Playing Likely Cost Billions In Car Damage, Injuries
Look, sometimes you just gotta catch that Weedle amiright folks? Wonder if this is a topic in driver’s ed now?Fifty Years Ago, Japan’s Most Famous Writer Committed Suicide After A Failed Coup Attempt – New Photos Add More Layers To The Haunting Act
Really interesting contemplation on the confluence of life, death and art. Plus some good coup info thrown in.
Let’s Just Look At Art Because Reading Sucks
The Work of Self-Taught Moroccan Fashion Photographer Mous Lamrabat Is Unmistakable
Photographer Lula Hyers Documented New Year’s Eve With Her Pod
Other Interesting Things You May Or May Not Care About
The Insane True Story Of The Cabbage Patch Doll Riots
Look if you've never punched a 92-year-old Nana in the back of the head to secure a Cabbage Patch Doll named Tabitha Bonneville have you even actually been through some shit? I think not, poser.The Uneasy Afterlife Of “A Confederacy Of Dunces”
I read this book about ten years ago and found it very humorous. This rereading of it doesn't find it so funny, but moreso is a longwinded way of saying Ignatius J. Reilly was the original incel, which honestly isn't too far off. A good read if you like (or hate!) the book.George Saunders On The Vitality Of Fiction In Increasingly Turbulent Times
I love me some George Saunders. I know it's a bit cliche to love him at this point but he's hilarious and darkly prescient, so whatever. This is a great interview with him about the place of story in writing and his view on the general state of the world, which you should listen to because he’s super smart.From Philadelphia to Europe, Brenden Aaronson’s Journey Is a Model for U.S. Soccer
The MLS and the United States Men's National Team have long been behind other global powers, this article details how MLS is making strides via upgraded academy programs and how the result can lead to a brighter future for the USMNT (That’s US Men’s National Team not US Marine Ninja Turtles, contrary to popular belief).Dwarf Giraffes Discovery Surprises Scientists
Most important article of the newsletter right here. His nickname is Gimli. There isn't much to this other than that dwarfism usually only occurs in domestic animals so it's pretty wild to see these short and thicc boys in the wild.
Brands I Quite Like
There are so many brands out there that are not cool or unique that I thought I would highlight new brands that I think are in fact doing dope things and are worth knowing about. This is not sponsored or full of affiliate links.
Everpress - A Global Marketplace For Independent Creativity
You: “what the hell is a ‘global marketplace for independent creativity?’”
Me: “I don’t know, I just copy and pasted that from their site.”
So, while the self-descriptor feels a tad pie-in-the-sky and blowhard to boot, the intention is there. And I will say they are a very, very cool brand. Actually, Everpress itself isn’t exactly a brand, more of a platform. It allows artists to upload designs to sell on clothing and then produces that clothing based on a preorder drop model, so that small independent artists don’t have to pre-buy inventory for which they don’t know exactly how much they’ll need. And I know there are other platforms that do this, but what I will say about Everpress is that the curation and caliber of artists is really second to none. And the quality of the shirts is pretty solid too. Every time I go on the website I want to buy five different shirts. The goodies are dope and unique. So check them out if you want some tees created by independent artists.
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