The Breads Roundup No. 115
Why we need more gatherings of silliness, and more links
Hello Pink Pony Clubbers,
How is everyone doing? Been a wild few weeks across the country and internationally. Trying to stay on top of the news while also maintaining a semblance of mental health is tough. We’re jaded to the fact that new horrors crop up seemingly every day and we’re able to see them all as they unfold. It’s pretty terrible, stick with me though, this isn’t going to be a depressing intro lamenting the ills of the world, despite the fact that they are legion.
Why I bring up the above is because I stumbled across this video on Reddit (itself coopted from a TikTok). You should 100% watch it, but in case you don’t here’s the synopsis: a man somewhere in Minnesota had a damaged oak tree in his front yard, he decided to keep it up and have it painted to look like a giant pencil. Over time the tree’s point gets dull due to weather and, presumably, all the 5G waves out there. In order to keep the appearance of a giant pencil the owner hosts a yearly sharpening of the pencil, complete with a gigantic pencil sharpener (like the kind you had in your school supply case in elementary school). This has become a huge community event where everyone comes out to watch the sharpening. There are literally thousands of people in this video cheering on the wood shaving.
And this sort of thing is not an anomaly. It feels like we’re having an influx of these very silly, trivial events whose sole purpose is to bring people together to revel in something unimportant and, for lack of a better term, kinda dumb. Look at all the lookalike contests being held in the public theater. A new Pedro Pascal was crowned just this week! Remember the guy in Philly who posted flyers for people to watch him eat an entire rotisserie chicken “on that abandoned pier near Walmart,” and then hundreds of people showed up? These are some of the least useful ways to spend your time and people are breaking their necks to experience them. Why?
I think you already know the answer. We’re so starved for moments where we can be kids again. Where we can show up and just laugh at how unbelievably silly the situation is. Where we can turn to the person next to us and bond over the pure absurdity of the moment. “This is so dumb but so awesome because it is so dumb.”
We need more stuff like that. So the people who are doing it, keep doing it.
Anyways time for the linkies. All the first three stories are about the political gambit that is international football (soccer).
Inside The Political Power Games Of The FIFA Club World Cup
Just Give Me A Synopsis:
A robust primer on the newly revamped, very controversial club football tournament. Once a laughable afterthought this tournament is now a major priority for the greedy little bastards at FIFA. Will players buy in? Not the best ones. Will fans? Tbd.
And A Quote From The Article Please:
Fifa’s third attempt at a competition that, over the last 30 or so years, has been greeted by a curious mix of scorn, ridicule and utter indifference. It is yet another set of fixtures on top of an ever-increasing playing schedule that footballers say is pushing their bodies to the limit. But more than anything, it is a transatlantic power grab that poses big questions about the game’s future — and who gets to decide what happens next.
And Tell Me Why I Should Care:
More and more is asked of players because leagues and owners stand to make more and more money. Soccer is the worst offender, but this is happening across all sports. Now I am no apologist for professional athletes making millions upon millions of dollars, but I also understand their frustrations with getting very little time off, especially when the impetus for expanding schedules is pure greed masquerading as “expansion to bring the game to the people.” This article lays out all the ways that the global game is going wrong, not just for players, but also for the fans because it waters down the product. How can we be ecstatic that the game is back for another season when it never really left? We need some scarcity to add value to when we have the game. Build some anticipation for the love of god.
What Will The World Cup Stand For In An Isolationist America?
Just Give Me A Synopsis:
When America was awarded the World Cup it was a different country than it is now. Sure the same person was in charge and many of the same underlying agendas were in place. But that's just it, they were mostly underlying at that point, now they are much more out in the open. They are overlying, is overlying a term? So what does that mean for the most viewed event in human history? An event that is supposed to promote global camaraderie and cooperation? We shall see.
And A Quote From The Article Please:
There’s a prevailing sense, both in this country and around the world, that things will be fine because this is America. The U.S. still has a sizable reserve of international goodwill. But if you were reading about stories like this in other countries, would you feel totally safe going? As you walked up to the passport counter, would your heart rate not go up?
And Tell Me Why I Should Care:
I don't see this article as a political one. You can't really deny that America is attempting to become more isolationist. The political part is whether you are against it or not. What this article asks is what sort of experience will this tournament be? Will it be the catalyst that fully isolates America after visitors have horrible experiences left and right, effectively killing America's tourism industry (a trend that is already well on its way) or will it be a month that somehow manages to go by without any major catastrophes or international political incidents? There are a lot of question marks in this section, mostly because we really have no idea how many times this administration will flip flop on policies that will affect attendance at this tournament in the next year.
2026 World Cup Stakes Are Bigger Than A Trophy — U.S. Affordable Housing Is At Risk, Too
Just Give Me A Synopsis:
There is a direct correlation between large events and the proliferation of short term rentals, which in turn leads to ongoing higher rental prices in the area. This upcoming World Cup puts that correlation on steroids for America as there are a dozen cities hosting games, many of which don't have even close to the number of hotel rooms needed to host the amount of fans that are coming.
And A Quote From The Article Please:
The risk isn’t dramatic evictions or demolition, but a systemic loss of affordability from rising rents and landlords looking to make a quick buck by converting units into short-term rentals ahead of the matches.
And Tell Me Why I Should Care:
There is already an affordable housing crisis ravaging America. It could be a wonderful opportunity to put in some legislation that will help residents well beyond the World Cup. Am I holding my breath for this to happen? Well I don't wanna die, so no. Do I think this could end up being a cautionary tale that gets taught about in text books in the future? Quite possibly.
My Book Is Still Available
Preorder is closed on my debut book, I Love It Here I Hate It Here! Thank you to everyone who ordered, they will be delivered in the next month or so, assuming there is no hold up in the printing or shipping. They’re coming from Canada which the printers told me may or may not cause delays depending on governments. Blah.
If you didn’t preorder you’re in luck. I ordered extra! But honestly not that many extra and when they’re gone they’re gone. So get your before they sell out!
This book uses film photos shot from 2021-2024 and original essays detailing various encounters with locals to illustrate the idea of what it is like to live in a place that is as inspiring as it is deflating, as beautiful as it is horrid, as kind as it is uncaring.
Batteries And Cars, Cars and Batteries
A New Cold War Is Brewing Over Rare Earth Minerals
We have always competed over resources. It used to be spices and fabrics, gold, oil and the like, now it is rare earth minerals that are instrumental in our technology, especially batteries, working how it is supposed to work. This is exactly the war our robot overlords want.How Electric Scooters Are Driving Chinas Salt Battery Push
You're telling me we coulda had batteries made out of salt this whole time? There is so much saltiness on earth. It is endlessly renewable. Less efficient and powerful than the rare earth metals above, sure, but still useful.Electric Vehicles Died a Century Ago. Could That Happen Again?
“But electric cars have not just been hampered by politics. They also had to overcome gender stereotypes. Their benefits like quiet, smooth operation were considered by some men to be too feminine, and, in the late 1800s and early 1900s, many models like the Baker Electric were explicitly marketed only to women.” Don’t let the automotive industry mansplain electric cars away from us!
Fashion and Design, Design and Fashion
The Freshest Clothes Are Also The Dirtiest
Long gone are the days of pristine raw denim and crispy tees, popped collars and unsullied Js. Now, big and baggy is in, but unlike in the early aughts it is all about distressed, lived in (or made to look lived in) fashion. And as this article points out it is across every style and price point, from Palace to Miu Miu. A new take on the high-low idea that seems to be in constant pursuit by the fashion world.The ’80s Are Back, Baby
Feel like advertising and branding has been reverting back to the styles of a previous time? Well you're not alone. And it’s not surprising considering how the past decade has been dominated by minimalism across both visual and written components. Edgy, startup brands really seem to be teetering back towards this maximalist aesthetic.A Design Studio “Rebranded” Carp. But Can A Fish Be A Brand?
I grew up going fishing for carp in the Midwest. They are an invasive species and the government is trying to get rid of them. But just labeling them as bad hasn't done much so a design firm was contracted to try and rebrand the fish as something desirable to eat. They're no Mahi Mahi, but they are abundant and not bad tasting. It's an interesting exercise in how far good branding can take things.
Other Interesting Things You May Or May Not Care About
Why Are Gen-Z and Millennial Workers Obsessed With “Soft Skills” In The Workplace?
I think the answer to the question in this headline is that… this is what makes us human. Don't let the robots replace you! Learn how to have average social skills that robots can't hope to replicate! But also I've been unemployed for almost exactly a year now and I think it is mostly due to the fact that almost all of my skills are, as they say, softer than baby shit.The Alarming Surge Of “Wrench Attacks” In Crypto Puts Owners On Edge
Crypto millionaires are being targeted more than ever, not just by hackers, but by physical robbers who are doing things like kneecapping and severing digits (shout out Lebowski) in order to extract passwords. The digital nature of crypto also allows it to be a heist-ready medium, as the whole thing is built around speed and lack of central institution (e.g. a bank) to approve transactions. This quote from the article says it all, “Interestingly, he added that the seemingly cryptographically perfect systems fail completely when someone puts a gun to your head.” Heard that, brother.How I Learned to Become an Intimacy Coördinator
One of the results of the #MeToo era was the advent of on set Intimacy Coordinators, people who make sure everyone is comfortable and no lines are being crossed during a production. Unsurprisingly this isn't just something you can decide you want to do because you like getting freaky, there is a lot of training and protocol that goes into place. As there should be.Why Can I Fall Asleep on the Couch and Not in My Bed?
I know this is gonna hit hard for some of you. I've luckily never really had trouble sleeping, except on nights when I have to wake up super early the next day, of course. But I do also know that couch sleep is high quality shit.The Battle To Be Named The World’s Oldest Restaurant
We're splitting hairs here, if you've been serving food for hundreds of years you deserve a medal. This is the sort of situation where I think it is valid to get a participation trophy. You been slanging slop since before 1800? Congrats you have been inducted into the 'Old Ass Restaurant Association," rewards include: endless tourists pointing at your "founded in YEAR" sign while being photographed with a mildly amused expression, plumbing problems, influencers recording annoying voiceover about what a hidden gem your restaurant is, and more!
Other Random Internet Stuff
From Girl Beer To Mom Water, Drinks Are Getting Weirdly Personal
Here’s Why Megan Thee Stallion Creating Her Own Anime Makes Total Sense
Are Video Games The New Movies? Hideo Kojima And Nicolas Winding Refn
The Two-Man Philly Shop Responsible For Some Of The Iconic ‘Severance’ Furniture
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